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By Elwyn B. White, Katharine S. White

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Extra info for A Subtreasury of American Humor

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You have sex, you wear a condom,” said Ellis, who has practiced proper condom use alone in his bedroom. “At least that’s what everybody says. I certainly wouldn’t know from experience because, clearly, I’m a freak. I’m one of the pathetic 18 percent who still haven’t even seen, much less touched, a naked breast. ” Although Ellis has carefully documented his intense desire for a sexual encounter in his journal, that desire hasn’t translated into sexual activity. Ellis insisted that this is not by choice.

Chris is such an incredible guy, and these last two years have been amazing. ” “ ‘Amanda has the most beautiful eyes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gazed into them, thinking they were the only ones I’d ever want to look into. But that was before I visied UC-Santa Cruz. ’ ” As the seniors take one last look around the halls where they spent the past four years, they are also pausing to take one last look at the significant others they are about to dump. “Amanda has the most beautiful eyes,” said Trevor Hillegas of girlfriend Amanda Lum.

Because it hasn’t. Because if it had, I’d tell you now, obviously. ” He then attempted to change the subject to last week’s staff meeting with CFO Mark Gentry, but, after several moments, abandoned the new conversational direction to clarify that it wasn’t because you’re not a very attractive woman. “I really got to cut out the spicy foods before bedtime, is what it is,” Pagano said. ” “ ‘Don’t worry, if I ever had a dream where you and I were … you know, like that, I’d keep it to myself. Not that it has happened.

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